just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
