talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
