pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize