thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
