So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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