I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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