this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
