I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the day after is always just damage control
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
