i just wanna soil my oats bro
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize