So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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