Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
