Is it because I queefed?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
