WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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