did you get engaged???
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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