I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
