Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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