As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
