Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
