Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
