At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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