Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
