I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
