All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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