I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
