We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
