If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
