we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
