just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
