how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
