Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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