people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
