go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
