Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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