you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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