New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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