Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
