Screwed.edu
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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