If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
