I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
