Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize