plz talk dirty to me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
