The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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