Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
