My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize