Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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