$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
