STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
