the new term for farting is butt boxing.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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