Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
