Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
