Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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