So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
