hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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