You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
