I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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