i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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