how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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