She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
