With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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