Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
