We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
