so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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