I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
