yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
